The Cure for Heartbreak

Posted: March 25, 2011 in Unbounded Learning
Tags: , , , , ,

I wanted to write something upbeat for my blog launch and I’m probably driving most of you away by starting of with this:

Two days before my third anniversary, my boyfriend breaks up with me.

Still there? Good, thanks.

I’m not going to go into it (because I don’t want to drive away all of you still reading) but it was my fault. I’m stupid and I feel like shit. Even shittier than when we were having okay days because I knew he would never love me like before anyway.

…Still reading? Thank God, it gets better, I promise.

I looked up the word “heartbroken” and the cure for achey-breaky hearts came up. No, it’s not ice cream and chocolate; those just make you more miserable after they rush to your ass and thighs. It’s not your friends either who probably slept with your ex anyway. And no, one night stands are not the cure for heartbreak; that’s just a cure for a bad day.

The cure for heartbreak is (drumroll please)

TYLENOL!

To Open: "Line Up Arrows, Jump Off Building"

Some research from the University of Kentucky said so. *chugs down 3 bottles of Tylenol* Nope, I don’t see it. It does make sense though. This is some good stuff for cramps and other muscle pains, and isn’t the heart a muscle? (that’s not how it works btw) But then the researchers do say that this is bad for your liver. And it’s not even effective for sure! There’s probably even a few who would argue for a substance that would actually work and is not bad for your health at all: WEED.

I’ve never smoke pot but since I don’t really care about what happens to me anymore, feel free to hook me up.

(let the emo phase begin)

Ok this is goth but it's funny

Advertisements
Comments
  1. daniellevd says:

    I CAN RELATE TO EVERYTHING IN THIS POST. I know you probably don’t even want to come back to this entry because (obviously) break up shit is painful enough the first go-round, let alone revisiting it. So sorry for commenting, I guess. But yeah for a few years I was legitimately depressed and didn’t know it and y’know what made me feel better? Marijuana. Like I’d wake up, smoke, eat, watch “Arrested Development” or play guitar, smoke, eat, repeat with “The Breakfast Club”. And…it was fucking awesome. (Except it kind of annihilated my GPA. womp womp). Marijuana was a much better anti-depressant than the generic Prozac I was eventually put on. And lemme tell ya, the two of them combined does NOT equal one mega ultra anti-depressant.

    …anyway I guess I didn’t really have anything of substance to add. I’ve been at fault for the two-ish times my boyfriend and I “broke up”. I use quotations because the break up lasted less than a day, so I figure it doesn’t really count. …right?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s