A Royal Drink for the Royal Wedding

Posted: April 27, 2011 in Unbounded Learning
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Getting hitched on the 29th

So Prince William (whose hair appears to be thinning) and Kate Middleton are getting married sometime within the next 48 hours. NBC said it’s 3am American time so if it’s that early, I can’t be bothered to care.

If you didn’t already know, I hate weddings and marriages and anything related to happily ever afters because I’m a downer like that. I’m sick of people getting married acting like it’s the best thing since sliced bread. One in two marriages here end in divorce so good luck with that congratulations.

Anyhow, there is one reason I’m not completely hating this wedding. It inspired an interesting beer from BrewDog, a badass-looking brewing company. It’s called the Royal Virility Performance (fancy name, huh?) And yes, it’s supposed to make the wedding consummation business easier:

From BrewDog.com

It’s an awesome idea. A buzz plus an erection has got to lead to some good time, yes?

According to Panoringan’s OC Weekly blog, BrewDog claims three bottles of these babies is just like popping that little blue pill. Btw. I highly recommend reading her blog, it’s a good read, short and sweet. I’m a sucker for sexual innuendos and stuff like that.

…Wait.

Horny Goat Weed? Classy indeed! That sounds wrong in three different ways and it makes me want to drink this beer even more. But wtf is it? *Googles*Horny goat weed is a plant that apparently makes your penis and your bones hard. Sweet. I just like the name since I have no use for it, obviously.

“Yeah right, Alex. I’ve seen your penis.” So has your mom!

BrewDog even sent a bottle to Prince William for his wedding night. I wonder if he’s going to get offended if he gets it? The dude’s 28! I doubt he has any trouble in that department.

You can buy the Royal Virility Performance beer here if it’s still available. If you try it, let me know how it worked out for you! Pics or it didn’t happen.

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