Posts Tagged ‘boyfriend’

Literally.

This is the Today Show segment on Carole Markin, a successful fifty-something,  who got a date on Match.com and got sexually assaulted on their second date. It turns out that her date was a sex offender. She’s now suing Match.com, saying she’ll drop charges if they change their security policy and screen members first. Currently, Match.com’s terms of use says they are not liable for whatever happens if members decide to meet offline. The company says they’ve been planning to change that for a while and the timing of Markin’s assault wasn’t the only reason they’ll be changing their policies, according to the Today Show.

Agreeing with Malkin here that while Match.com shouldn’t be liable as to what happens to their members when they agree to meet with another member, they should at least be responsible for making sure that the members they make available to other users are not registered sex offenders. That’s just bad for business, letting sex offenders use your site to hunt prey.

On the other hand, I believe people should just be cautious anyway. You can’t trust a website that handles thousands of people to completely weed out undesirable potential dates. Sure, they can scan who the registered sex offenders are but I doubt Match.com or any other dating site can weed out the violent jerks, gold diggers, and such. If it’s so easy for 40-year-old men to pretend being 17-year-old boys, I’m sure it’s not that hard for a psycho killer to pretend he’s a complete gentleman who loves dogs and walks on the beach.

Besides, the point of these dating sites is basically to open the door to meet other people. What you do after that, including keeping yourself safe, is on you.

While I think it’s normal to meet people online, I can’t stress enough how important it is to watch out for yourself. I’m not blaming Markin here but she mentioned asking for the guy’s name but not being able to get it due to a “dropped call or he mumbled, I don’t know”. She could’ve asked again, just to be sure. And now, with the abundance of social networking sites and availability of those places that let you see a person’s criminal record, research on a person can’t be that hard anymore. It’s not being creepy, it’s being smart.

Her course of action was ideal (that she thought of checking the guy out): always check people out before you meet them. I met my boyfriend online 3 years ago and it was several months before we met in person.

While I thought he was very sweet and I trusted him a little bit, I kept thinking maybe this dude is some psycho serial killer. Maybe the dude in the pictures he’s sending me are picture of some guy he killed. Luckily, even without Facebook, I was able to look him up on the Air Force website as a recent graduate in the San Antonio Basic Training place thing. He still could have been a psycho serial killer but I knew he wasn’t lying about being in the Air Force or about his name at least.

I may have been lucky that I didn’t end up in the trunk of his rental car or anything like that but you can’t always be lucky. Don’t be naive when you’re meeting someone online, be it Match.com or craigslist.com or whatever. Or better yet, get off your butt and go out, meet people that way.

You think the economic meltdown was bad, try introducing the government shutdown.

Legislation needs to get the budget figured out by midnight tomorrow before government budget runs out. If they can’t, the government shutdown fucks up millions of Americans because they can’t get paid.  According to Alan Grayson from the Huffington Post, this is bad for college kids like me and military people like my boyfriend. I can’t get government student loans and he’s not getting paid. Did I mention that a shitload of federal workers are going to lose their jobs, too?

Alan Grayson’s explanation of the government shutdown.

People getting fucked over by this according to the Washington Post.

But hey, Grayson says we can all go broke and file for bankruptcy. Yeah, tell that to people getting laid off and my boyfriend in the Air Force whose not getting paid. Where the hell are these people supposed to get money for rent or, I don’t know, food?

Oh right, the Republicans don’t give a shit. (At least that’s what I’ve been reading)

Okay, so maybe I’m being incredibly pretentious here. I’m not exactly affected as I don’t use student loans from the government and my folks don’t work for the government. But it does bother me that my boyfriend isn’t getting paid. Sooner or later, he’s going to be stressed about the money (as if working overtime and weekends isn’t bad enough) and guess who’s relationship gets fucked over?

Selfish, I know. Plenty of people out there with families to provide for losing their jobs and here I am complaining about this.

What I don’t understand is why the Republicans are letting it come to this. What is up with the constant need to disagree with the other party (yeah, Democrats do it, too)? Can’t these people just figure out what to do and not fuck up the rest of the country? Not everyone sits on millions of dollars here; this country can’t afford to not have money while legislators play their blame games.

Sen. Howard Dean says the shutdown is the best thing in the world. Here’s why:

Really? That’s so mature, isn’t it? I don’t see why these people can’t figure out a budget right now. The economy sucks, America’s in debt, everybody’s broke. Deal with it. No amount of budget cuts is going to change that overnight. These legislators really think bashing each other out helps? Hey, if every insult and blame you guys throw at someone pays someone’s rent, knock yourselves out.

As an immigrant, I will never cease to be amazed by the US bipartisan politics. It’s like…okay, I don’t have a metaphor but it’s ridiculous nonetheless.

And here I was thinking this country’s so awesome with all its power, money, and smart, educated leaders; I thought this government had its shit all figured out. Turns out it’s just as screwed up as Philippines, except we never had a government shutdown there.

Am I the only one who gets really suspicious when the bf doesn’t tell me the simplest things? Like, I don’t know, “Hey babe, wutcha doin’?”

He says, “I’m busy, talk to you later.” I hear, “None of your fucking business, leave me alone. Bitch.”

Or am I just any other girl that guys bitch about? Do I talk too much? Do I share the mundane details of my life and he just doesn’t want to here?

Oh right, I don’t have the right to be so damn nosy. Wait, you guys don’t want someone being curious about your life, meddling in your business, asking you questions? Maybe you shouldn’t involve other people in your life. That’ll get rid of your nagging problem. Because being involved usually means you include them in your life.

So I asked the mighty Internet why men keep secrets. I was assuming it’s all about lying: lying about being happy, about wanting something, about denying the regret of being with someone. It answered me with 11 Secrets that apparently all men keep.

Let’s pretend I give a shit.

Here’s an idea: Don’t get married. You want to get away? Don’t start something you want to get away from. You want space? Go to the moon.

Yes, honey, let me wait until I’m 40 for you to figure out if you actually appreciate me or not. I just love the uncertainty of whether you value me or not, I just enjoy being led on. Oh and yes, it does sound like you don’t love us. Because guess what? It’s not nice to waste people’s time.

See, if you actually cared you’d try to understand. Glad to know the relationship was valuable enough for you to get off your ass and do something about it. And thanks for lying about wanting to make things better because obviously, you don’t want to make it better that much. If you did, you’d at least say “You know what, sweetie, I don’t know where you’re coming from.”

Really now? In my experience, no kind of “going away” afforded me any kind of romance or anything I wanted in a relationship. No flowers, no “you’re beautiful”, no “is there anything I can do because you had a bad day?”, nothing. Either this author is a complete moron or the guy I claim is my bf is broken.

The way I see it, men are keeping these kinds of secrets because they can’t handle what they get themselves into, that they’re not happy with it. Or I could be wrong. Doubt it, though.

Surely not all men are like this, hopefully. I’m just saying, if you can’t be open with someone then there is no point being in a relationship with them. You can’t love someone only when and how you feel like it. That’s called being fuck buddies, not being a couple. Or maybe I’m just the stupid one who thought being with someone meant you can have someone you should feel safe with. Secrets are dangerous. They make a whole lot of gray areas. They’re not safe. I hate them.

Especially the stupid, pointless secrecy about everything. Annoying as fuck. Doesn’t it make you want to kick puppies when people can’t answer simple questions?

Whatever. Do whatever you want.

#bitter

My Anthro professor has a thing for kittens. Every lecture, there’s at least 3 slides with cats in them, one being from the I can haz cheezburger empire. One of his TAs was kind enough to let us in on a secret:

Cute is a hormone.

Oxytocin to be exact. Apparently, when we see something cute the brain releases this feel good hormone. Let me demonstrate:

Feel the oxytocin, baby!

But oxytocin is more than just cute. There’s also a huge surge of it when mom breastfeeds and when a woman orgasms: both activities prompting women to form a deep bond with their infant or partner.

And you know what the secret of happy relationships is? Yep, Oxytocin.

According to a research done in the University of Wisconsin-Madison, monkeys in long standing relationships have high levels of oxytocin. Ladies and gentlemen, these monkeys are lucky, happy monkeys.

With more oxytocin, monkeys groom each other more, fuck more, and yes ladies, cuddle more. And here is the best part:

There’s been other researches on this. Look it up, you know you want to, you desperate, lonely, stuck-in-an-unhappy-relationship you.

Do you know how awesome this sounds? It’s like a medical cure for lazy, clueless significant others! Imagine your boyfriend who rolls over right after you make love or the girlfriend who can’t leave you alone when you need some time to yourself. Then imagine jacking them up with oxytocin. Man, wouldn’t that be nice?

Btw, it’s my anniversary today so if you have a syringe filled with oxytocin or coke, please, shoot me up.

I wanted to write something upbeat for my blog launch and I’m probably driving most of you away by starting of with this:

Two days before my third anniversary, my boyfriend breaks up with me.

Still there? Good, thanks.

I’m not going to go into it (because I don’t want to drive away all of you still reading) but it was my fault. I’m stupid and I feel like shit. Even shittier than when we were having okay days because I knew he would never love me like before anyway.

…Still reading? Thank God, it gets better, I promise.

I looked up the word “heartbroken” and the cure for achey-breaky hearts came up. No, it’s not ice cream and chocolate; those just make you more miserable after they rush to your ass and thighs. It’s not your friends either who probably slept with your ex anyway. And no, one night stands are not the cure for heartbreak; that’s just a cure for a bad day.

The cure for heartbreak is (drumroll please)

TYLENOL!

To Open: "Line Up Arrows, Jump Off Building"

Some research from the University of Kentucky said so. *chugs down 3 bottles of Tylenol* Nope, I don’t see it. It does make sense though. This is some good stuff for cramps and other muscle pains, and isn’t the heart a muscle? (that’s not how it works btw) But then the researchers do say that this is bad for your liver. And it’s not even effective for sure! There’s probably even a few who would argue for a substance that would actually work and is not bad for your health at all: WEED.

I’ve never smoke pot but since I don’t really care about what happens to me anymore, feel free to hook me up.

(let the emo phase begin)

Ok this is goth but it's funny