Ladies and gentlemen, round of applause for the latest step towards the complete eradication of intelligence in our society.
I’m sure you’ve all heard that kids (the really stupid ones) are turning to hand sanitizers to get buzzed. If not, I suggest you familiarize yourself with it through this NPR article. It might make you feel better if you’re having a bad day.
Sure made me feel better that I’m already 21 and I can buy a Long Island Iced Tea if I wanted to get drunk. It also made me feel better that when I was a kid, I wasn’t this stupid.
The article says that parents should treat sanitizers as they would prescription meds and basically watch their kids like a hawk when they go near it. If you ask me, that’s not going to work. Every heard of the Forbidden Fruit Principle (it’s not really the official name (do you think I can copyright that?)). The more society treats these things as a threat even though they are not, the more tempting they become to kids. To very stupid kids, at least.
This latest trend not only makes me not want to have children but also makes me less hopeful about our future. It also decreases the amount of faith or respect I have in humanity.
Thanks, kids. Your stupidity is the source of my frustration and amusement.