Posts Tagged ‘emo’

I wanted to write something upbeat for my blog launch and I’m probably driving most of you away by starting of with this:

Two days before my third anniversary, my boyfriend breaks up with me.

Still there? Good, thanks.

I’m not going to go into it (because I don’t want to drive away all of you still reading) but it was my fault. I’m stupid and I feel like shit. Even shittier than when we were having okay days because I knew he would never love me like before anyway.

…Still reading? Thank God, it gets better, I promise.

I looked up the word “heartbroken” and the cure for achey-breaky hearts came up. No, it’s not ice cream and chocolate; those just make you more miserable after they rush to your ass and thighs. It’s not your friends either who probably slept with your ex anyway. And no, one night stands are not the cure for heartbreak; that’s just a cure for a bad day.

The cure for heartbreak is (drumroll please)

TYLENOL!

To Open: "Line Up Arrows, Jump Off Building"

Some research from the University of Kentucky said so. *chugs down 3 bottles of Tylenol* Nope, I don’t see it. It does make sense though. This is some good stuff for cramps and other muscle pains, and isn’t the heart a muscle? (that’s not how it works btw) But then the researchers do say that this is bad for your liver. And it’s not even effective for sure! There’s probably even a few who would argue for a substance that would actually work and is not bad for your health at all: WEED.

I’ve never smoke pot but since I don’t really care about what happens to me anymore, feel free to hook me up.

(let the emo phase begin)

Ok this is goth but it's funny