Posts Tagged ‘kids’

Ladies and gentlemen, round of applause for the latest step towards the complete eradication of intelligence in our society.

I’m sure you’ve all heard that kids (the really stupid ones) are turning to hand sanitizers to get buzzed. If not, I suggest you familiarize yourself with it through this NPR article. It might make you feel better if you’re having a bad day.

Even gin tastes better than this, I'm sure.

Sure made me feel better that I’m already 21 and I can buy a Long Island Iced Tea if I wanted to get drunk. It also made me feel better that when I was a kid, I wasn’t this stupid.

The article says that parents should treat sanitizers as they would prescription meds and basically watch their kids like a hawk when they go near it. If you ask me, that’s not going to work. Every heard of the Forbidden Fruit Principle (it’s not really the official name (do you think I can copyright that?)). The more society treats these things as a threat even though they are not, the more tempting they become to kids. To very stupid kids, at least.

This latest trend not only makes me not want to have children but also makes me less hopeful about our future. It also decreases the amount of faith or respect I have in humanity.

Thanks, kids. Your stupidity is the source of my frustration and amusement.

Everyday I am more convinced that we’re turning into a society of pussies.

Samantha Shaw, 7 years old, underwent surgery to fix her quirky-looking ears because of bullying. Well, she said she wasn’t exactly being bullied but her mom said the adults were saying comments about her kid and they wanted to fix her ears to prevent bullying in the future.

Jesus christ, where to start…

It seems Samantha is more well-adjusted than the mother. The kid already said she wasn’t really being bullied about her ear but mom’s got to be all touchy about the subject. Ma’am, your kid was about to grow a pair and thicker skin. Thank you for possibly rendering yet another child socially inept for the future.

What is this measure teaching Samantha and every other kid with a quirk?

While I get that bullying is becoming more and more serious (and dangerous) in America, making a kid’s ears look more normal is just telling those bullies that they won. Instead of making Samantha Shaw conform so that the bullies won’t find anything to attack her on, why not teach the kid to toughen up? Parents are babying their children too much now. It’s simply impossible to protect your kid from everything and doing so robs them of the opportunity to learn what life really is like and how to deal with it. A lot of people in the world are assholes and that’s just the way it is.

This surgery felt like a chase after instant gratification. Instead of addressing the way kids relate to and treat each other, the mom just went ahead and fixed the ears to get it over with.

Doctor says this was serious stuff that needed to be done. Really?

Philip Defranco’s video, jump to 4:02

Besides, like Philip Defranco says, aren’t we supposed to embrace our individuality? Going through this surgery just sent the message that it’s not acceptable to look or be different. And it’s the shit we get from other people that help us figure out who we are.

Courtesy of ABC

And I’m looking at the pictures and I have no idea what exactly is wrong with her. When we were little, my brother’s ears looked at least twice that size (and compared to his skinny head, they still look huge). We used to call him a monkey or a lizard because he looked like one. They always called me a piglet because I was fat as fuck. But look at us, we grew up fine because our parents told us we were awesome just the way we were and those bullies were just jealous. And that we shouldn’t be so sensitive to what insensitive people say.

Apparently, Chicago Public Schools (CPS) are banning parents from sending their kids to school with lunch. School food is way better, CPS claims, and so what if it’s a bit more expensive? (I paraphrased the last part of that) This ban on brown bagging is CPS’s efforts to fight obesity.

Article about CPS banning home made lunches.

Parents of course are upset. Why can’t they prove they love their kids by painstakingly making them lunch everyday? How do they know the school’s food is as healthy? Why the hell is the government telling them how to feed their kids? Damn you, government, we will not succumb to your socialist movements! Okay, they didn’t say that but someone’s bound to throw that ignorant blurb around anyway.

But no one really cares. They’ll fight childhood obesity whatever it takes. Just look at these states, banning all that is good and tasty just to keep the kids healthy:

“Alabama parents protested a school’s rule that barred students from bringing any drinks from home, as ice water was provided at lunch. East Syracuse, New York schools have outlawed cupcakes and other desserts. And schools around the country have kicked out chocolate milk and soda vending machines. Former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin even showed up in Bucks County, Pennsylvania, with dozens of cookies to express her disdain for a debate in the state about recommending teachers limit the number of times per month the sugary treats are eaten in classroom birthday celebrations.”

“But that’s, like, torture!” Yeah, I agree. Unnecessary, too. You really think these kids don’t have access to all that sugary goodness outside school? All the efforts going into controlling what kids can eat in school is a waste. It’s not about limiting what is available to them so they have no choice but to eat healthy. It’s supposed to be about teaching them not to stuff their face until they’re diabetic even with the presence of chocolate cupcakes covered with peanut butter frosting and marshmallows and chocolate drizzles with a side of strawberry milksh—what was I saying?

Sadly, there was no significant mention of the kids who don’t even have anything to eat. What are they doing for those kids? Did you know that 1 in 4 kids in the US go to bed hungry?

My point is, this probably isn’t the best move although the motivation is good. We should listen to this guy:

Sounds like a good plan, sir.

PS. It’s not socialism btw. They’re regulating food, not rationing it. >_>

…so the police just pepper spray them.

In Colorado, an 8-year-old got pepper sprayed by the police when he threw a hissy fit at school. Aidan Elliot, as I heard on the Today Show this morning, was allegedly throwing around chairs and wielding a pointed stick at his teachers. Police got called in and they pepper sprayed him to stop the kid.

Did I mention this is the same school district as the Columbine massacre in 1999?

Of course, the mom’s saying the police should’ve responded differently, they should’ve at least “talked him down.”

Apparently, this wasn’t the first time this happened either. Little Aidan has anger issues and, judging from his interview this morning, he seemed almost mature about it. He actually admitted to not being able to control his anger and when asked about getting sprayed in the face:

Watch Elliott’s interview here.

Anybody else uncomfortable with this?:

I’m pretty sure if you had no idea this was an 8-year-old kid, you’d be fine with him getting sprayed.

The school and police did not press charges for the incident and neither is the mother for the pepper spraying thing.

The kid seems pretty aware that he has a problem and he appears aware of what he was doing at that time. Is it okay that he doesn’t get punished? I’m not saying pepper spray the kid but, if the police have been called to restrain this kid twice before, shouldn’t they be doing something about it?

Detailed article of police encounters with Aidan Elliott. Note the “s”.


He mentions he has anger issues but that doctors have not diagnosed anything wrong with him. Why does it always have to be a disease? Can’t people just say that maybe he just won’t control his feelings? Maybe his folks didn’t teach him that threatening your superiors might get him in trouble? Or maybe he just hates school that much?

Christ, sometimes going to class makes me want to whack the kid beside me with a stick until he stops chewing his damn gum so loudly, but I don’t just go ahead and do it. I’m a freakin’ lady.

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why I’m never having kids.

Oh, it’s not that they will turn crazy and threaten to kill people like no one’s business. It’s that I might pepper spray them if they get me on the Today Show and embarrass us both.

Normally I hate kids but I just had to sub this:

Kid 1: You ready, man?

Kid 2: I dunno, bro, she’s watching. Ah shit, nevermind. Let’s go!

Kid 1: So what if she’s watching? She’s too dumb to understand our complex language.

Kid 2: LOL

Kid 1: Come on, stop screwing around. I’ll give you a boost and you can open the fridge and get us some of the old man’s booze.

Kid 2: What the hell? I don’t want you dropping me!

Kid 1: You have a better plan? Stop goofing around! Let’s go, man!

Kid2: LOL

Kid 1: Wtf are you laughing at? Are you high?

Kid 2: Jesus christ, chill, man. She’s watching.

I could go on but I’ll let you sub the rest because I have homework to do.

Surprise surprise: parents hate parenting.

And why not? Who would want to give up their time, money, and sanity for snotty little kids who will probably never tell you they’re thankful for your parenting until you have one foot in the grave?

No one, that’s who.

But still, folks all over the world are popping out babies left and right. populating the world with kids. ewww.

Never been rich, always been happy

Maybe there IS some reward to being a mom or dad. My folks certainly see it. Ever since I could remember they’ve been bending backwards to give me and my brother a good life. When we were kids, they bred dogs to put their kids to good schools. My dad would go to work three hours away everyday, sometimes even on weekends, so we could have a comfortable life. They missed me and my brother growing up so they can go to America for better jobs.

I mean, I still want to move out so bad but they’re good parents.

Shit, I can never do that. I don’t even like kids. Especially little ones. And I know me–I would not want to be my mother.

Probably is

Maybe it’s not for everyone. You’ve got to be a special kind of selfless to rear a kid. Think of everything you have to do just to keep your kid in school. Then what you have to do to keep them away from drugs. Then what you have to do to help them adopt good values.

Reminds me of this 22yo girl I interviewed a week ago; she has a two-year old kid. How do you even do that? I can barely take care of myself, let alone another helpless human being. Scary stuff.

And you have to have superpowers to love a person who could do shit like these.