Posts Tagged ‘youtube’

Diamonds are a girl’s best friend. If best friend you mean that drop dead gorgeous bitch who seduced your boyfriend, took all his money, and told you you were ugly and fat. Come on, you want to know what a girl’s bff really is?


Wish they had this in Chicago


Everybody likes them. Even the emo/scene/goth girls with no friends like them. And who can blame billions of women buying into this multi-billion dollar cosmetic industry?

I started buying into it a few years ago when YouTube recommended I watch makeup guru Michelle Phan. Before I knew it, I was watching bubzbeauty, Lauren Luke, and other girls on YouTube putting on their makeup. (Proof that makeup can be good: These girls ended up making money because of doing YT vids)

And it’s kind of contagious. You watch one video and think to yourself, I can do that and it’ll look good on me. Beginners beware: this could be the start of a makeup shopping spree that will dent your bank account and, if you’re like me, results in constant products returns.

Sometimes better than department store brands

The thing with makeup is that it’s so hard to find what works for you. About $500 later, I’m still searching for the products that work for me. I made the mistake of looking at Sephora for the first things in my makeup arsenal. I had no idea drugstore brands were better to experiment with: they’re cheaper.

Makeup is part of being a girl. It’s fun; kind of like how guys find working out enjoyable (I’m assuming here). It makes us feel good about ourselves, experiment, and do what we do best: shop. Those people who are all about “You should show your natural beauty, makeup is fake” are ignorant…or ugly. Sorry, I had to go there. Yes, because putting on some mascara and lip glass makes me totally fake and ugly inside. But really, why bash on people who want to make themselves look and feel better?

Sweetie, it's a tan. Not an orange.

However, if you tan like Snooki, I might judge you.

We’ll talk about that some other time.

I admit, I’m one of those girls who can’t go out of the house without makeup on. At least some concealer and powder, just so I don’t look like a slob. Makeup is never about looking like someone you’re not; it’s about making the effort to look good.

Trust me, it’ll get you hired and promoted. Or get you laid. Win-win.

PS. You do know clicking on those links are proofs I’m not just making up this stuff, right?

Normally I hate kids but I just had to sub this:

Kid 1: You ready, man?

Kid 2: I dunno, bro, she’s watching. Ah shit, nevermind. Let’s go!

Kid 1: So what if she’s watching? She’s too dumb to understand our complex language.

Kid 2: LOL

Kid 1: Come on, stop screwing around. I’ll give you a boost and you can open the fridge and get us some of the old man’s booze.

Kid 2: What the hell? I don’t want you dropping me!

Kid 1: You have a better plan? Stop goofing around! Let’s go, man!

Kid2: LOL

Kid 1: Wtf are you laughing at? Are you high?

Kid 2: Jesus christ, chill, man. She’s watching.

I could go on but I’ll let you sub the rest because I have homework to do.