Harry Styles Impersonator: Because Usernames are Totally Believable

On May 30th, a Connecticut man named John Eastman was charged with first-degree child pornography. How did he come about this porn? By impersonating One Direction’s Harry Styles on Skype and “enticing” young girls with it.

According to various news sources, Eastman would pose as Styles using the Skype handle Harry.Styles888 and promise young girls with concert tickets in exchange for sexual acts on camera or nude pictures.

I’m all against this guy. Child pornography is cruel and, not to mention, gross. But it merits to also look at the victims. More importantly, the victim’s parents.

Where were these parents when their girls were getting naked on camera? In fact, why is there even a computer with a camera in a room where these girls are not monitored (assuming they are young and naive enough to fall for this)? The lack of supervision is one problem here. Kids are not inherently stupid, but they are not inherently smart enough to know trouble either.

Harry Styles from One Direction. Not my type.

Also, it says a lot about the kind of child who would believe Harry.Styles888 is, in fact, Harry Styles. Yes, that’s absolutely legit (insert sarcasm here). The world is full of sick people and it is smart not to believe everything you hear or see, especially as a child. But little girls don’t know that. Little girls have never been scammed or taken advantage of by strange pervs on the Internet. I can only imaging the kind of parenting that produces gullible children.

It also speaks to how parents may have not given “the talk” in a sensible time or way. Concert tickets in exchange for nude pictures doesn’t seem like a fair transaction. One is more valuable than the other (I’ll let you decide which). But it is a transaction nonetheless. For children to think that sex is a form of payment at such a young age is ridiculous–they should find that out later on in life when they are smart enough not to get scammed by a Harry.Styles888. No sensible adult teaches that. Kids get that idea from other kids. Where were the parents in this situation?

Like I said, Eastman was disgusting but he is only one of the many dangerous things in the world that kids need to look out for. Parents can’t protect their kids from everything yet they do not do their duties to equip their children with the common sense to be cautious.

Harry.Styles888. Really?

 

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Nutella is Good for Your Health

So claims their advertisements. Therefore, we can eat it as much as we possibly could like broccoli and kale.

(Personally, I do. Doesn’t matter if it has a ridiculous amount of sugar per serving, I’d go into some kind of sugar coma as a happy person.)

According to a story that came out recently, Athena Hohenberg sued Ferrero (manufacturer of this divine spread) for $3 million because Nutella advertisement led her to believe that the spread is perfectly healthy. Because of this, she realized she has been feeding her daughter such an unhealthy food!

See article here. (You can file a claim and get reimbursed if you bought Nutella recently)

OH THE HORROR!!

…of ridiculous people like Hohenberg. So let me get this straight: Because she fed her kid unhealthy food due to her lack of action, i.e. READING A GODDAMN LABEL, she is entitled to $3 million. Three million dollars. Awarded to someone who blamed someone else for her own mistake.

The fact that she’d even sue for this is utterly ridiculous.

And she won? Man, she has way too much time in her hands. Lawyers who worked on this have way too much time in their hands.

If I had a dollar for everytime I blamed someone else for my mistake, my brother would owe me $17,908 for every time he left the toilet seat up and I didn’t look before used it and almost fell in.

Clean and Buzzed

Ladies and gentlemen, round of applause for the latest step towards the complete eradication of intelligence in our society.

I’m sure you’ve all heard that kids (the really stupid ones) are turning to hand sanitizers to get buzzed. If not, I suggest you familiarize yourself with it through this NPR article. It might make you feel better if you’re having a bad day.

Even gin tastes better than this, I'm sure.

Sure made me feel better that I’m already 21 and I can buy a Long Island Iced Tea if I wanted to get drunk. It also made me feel better that when I was a kid, I wasn’t this stupid.

The article says that parents should treat sanitizers as they would prescription meds and basically watch their kids like a hawk when they go near it. If you ask me, that’s not going to work. Every heard of the Forbidden Fruit Principle (it’s not really the official name (do you think I can copyright that?)). The more society treats these things as a threat even though they are not, the more tempting they become to kids. To very stupid kids, at least.

This latest trend not only makes me not want to have children but also makes me less hopeful about our future. It also decreases the amount of faith or respect I have in humanity.

Thanks, kids. Your stupidity is the source of my frustration and amusement.

Thank God

Back in Philippines, everyone I went to school with a graduating from college. Aside from the egregious amount of graduation pictures they’ve posted on Facebook, there is an even more obnoxious amount of posts that go something like this:

"Kaboom! Finally graduating!"

I find it a little off putting that people thank god for what they and other people have worked for. College would not have been the best four years of her life if she didn’t make it so. And what about the professors, the teachers, and everyone else who made it possible?

Some would say that none of the opportunities that come our way would not be possible if god or some higher power had not willed it. I disagree. I say it is a matter of mathematics. The chances we get are products of our actions or the actions of others, directly or indirectly.

If everything in our life is of free will (as god would have granted us, according to some), then what does he have to do with it?

When you graduate, who will you thank?

Scared into Veganism

I have nothing against the vegan lifestyle. It’s a way to live life and I am a firm believer that as long as it is not a threat to anyone else’s safety, people have the right to live however they damn well please. But I heard about this book on vegetarianism that I firmly disagree with.

“Vegan is Love” is a children’s book written and illustrated by Ruby Roth. At first, I thought that was this was a cool idea. Roth is a vegan activist and a mother who is raising her kid in the vegan lifestyle. Nothing wrong with that, right? I mean, if you can raise your kid in the faith you believe in, why not vegetarianism? And through a book? That’s sensible.

WRONG.

I heard about this on the Today Show where they also talked to a nutritionist and a child psychologist who raised some really good points.

See the Today Show clip here.

The book depicts some images of animal cruelty which isn’t all that brutal but are enough to instill fear in children. It’s almost like the sole purpose of the book is to scare kids out of eating meat.

I’m pretty sure that’s a bad way to teach someone how to embrace a certain lifestyle. It’s like teaching a kid to be a Catholic by scaring the shit out of them with stories about Hell and the devil. Plus, is it really a good idea to make food (at least meat) an object of evil, an enemy? Food should not be a source of frustration. That screws up kids and adults alike. Food should be approached with appreciation, not fear.

I can see it already. It’s like sex ed. They scared us with STDs and HIV and the potential of getting our little hearts broken by guys who will never bother to call the next morning and that the only salvation is through abstinence. But look at our relationship with sex now.

There will be vegan kids who will grow up to spite their vegan elders and eat meat.

(as appropriate to both situations but I’m sure you got that, wink wink.)

(I’m not gonna get a lower grade for being perverted am I?)

(Please don’t leave my blog =( )

Friends with your Teachers

I was reading this article on MSNBC about teachers and students being friends on Facebook. Most of the issue is coming from the younger folks (high school kids and younger). That makes sense since there’s a bunch of minors in that level so Facebook stuff can be dangerous especially because some teachers can be so creepy.

Think about how different the issue would be if they discussed professors and college kids being friends on Facebook. I’m pretty sure us kids would be volunteering to NOT be friends with our professors. I mean, I’ve had crushes on some of my professors and I cannot trust myself to not be creepy to them should I have befriended them on Facebook.

Also because us college kids understand (theoretically) that whatever we post on Facebook can possibly bite us in the ass. How are you going to get that extension on your paper when your prof could clearly see on your timeline that you were too busy drinking to write your paper?

According to the article:

Am I the only one who thinks this is bad practice? When these high school kids get to college, their professors won’t care if they don’t read their emails. These professors have better things to do with their time than come after their students for whatever. Instead, using this reason just makes it sound like these teachers are just letting “youngsters” run amok with laziness. I mean, how hard can it be to open your email?

Personally, I’d never friend a professor on Facebook. Too much of my personal life on there that I’m uncomfortable to share with someone responsible for giving me grades that could potentially make it easier for me to find a job or someone who may write me a recommendation letter later on. I probably would friend them if they were one of the more casual instructors I’ve had who swore in class and was totally fine with me swearing on my papers. And if I had absolutely no chance of being in their class again.

Would you add a professor to your Facebook?

Grocery Stores are Evil

Melanie Greenberg, a clinical psychologist wrote this article for Psychology Today about how groceries basically take advantage of you.

Ten Ways Your Local Grocery Store Hijacks Your Brain

 

This place is evil!!

I thought it was pretty interesting and clever. A lot of it made sense. Why don’t we go through some of them?

1. Fooled by Fresh Flowers

Dr. Greenberg wrote that grocery stores place fresh flowers by the entrance to create a fresh and inviting experience for consumers. Seriously? I’m pretty sure people will still feel slightly poorer walking out of a grocery store even if you put Jason Statham by the entrance.

2. Muddled by Missing Milk

Product placement in store makes you spend more money

Now this actually makes sense because I’m pretty sure they do this in any kind of store. Basically, Greenberg says they put the essentials that people ALWAYS reach for like milk and eggs at the back of the store so you HAVE to cruise the aisles to get to them. Therefore, it’s easy for them to entice you into buying what you probably don’t need.

 

 

3. Exasperated by Faux Environmentalists

Green Lifestyle Costing More Green

Greenberg talks about competitive altruism which is people’s willingness to pay extra just so they can say they made the greener choice. I’m all for the environment but I’d rather save green in the form of dollars. I mean, if people really wanted to be environmentally friendly when it comes to cleaners, why pay more for an “organic cleaner” when you could just mix vinegar and warm water to clean the bathroom? I’m pretty sure that’s more eco-friendly anyway.

She talks about other stuff which just made me think that it’s not completely evil that grocery stores do this. Okay, they want to boost sales. Is that so bad? It’s the consumer’s responsibility to think for themselves and if putting milk and eggs at the back of the store makes a person spend $40 on shit they didn’t need, then maybe they deserved to be hijacked in the first place.

Menthol Cigarettes: Makes You Die Faster

Reuters reports on MSNBC that researchers found menthol cigarette smokers to be at higher risk of getting strokes that regular cigarette smokers.

My brother is a smoker and he could be smoking chocolate-flavored cigarettes for all I care, it still smells like crap. Why your cigarette’s flavor matters, I know not but okay, moving on..

Apparently the risk is higher in women and African Americans as well.

That's pretty much what you're doing. Aside from smelling like an ashtray. And tasting like one.

Personally, I don’t care. If people want to smoke like a chimney, drink like a fish, and embrace their God-given mission to procreate (or at least practice more than most people), go ahead. It’s every person’s right to be stupid, damnit! And it’s also my right to refuse to kiss you if you smell like you just ate a bunch of newspaper.

What bothers me is not so much the fact that smoking is bad for you (duh) but it’s this particular line in the article:

 

 

“But manufacturers disagree.”

Really? No shit. I would’ve sworn they’d tell you their products causes your lungs to shrivel up and your brain to get all screwed up from potential strokes and quite possibly kill you from all the health risks involved in willingly smoking a stick full of garbage.

Good job, Captain Obvious.

Dead Baby Comes Back to Life

Look at that, it’s Easter all over again! Seriously.

Parents of Easter Baby

News from 9News reports an incredible and somewhat creepy incident in Resistencia, Argentina. Analia Bouter (mommy of Easter baby, shown in picture) delivered a stillborn baby girl. She insisted on seeing the corpse so like  of course, she and her husband goes down to the morgue and have the baby’s coffin pried open.

And voila! The baby whimpers! SHE LIIIIIIIVVVVVEEEESSSSSS!

Luz Milagros (originally named Luciana Abigail but changed because her parents agree that she is an awesome miracle baby) was premature and sick but managed to survive 12 hours in the coffin.

I have to wonder: How on earth do you manage to put a live child in the morgue? Were the doctors just like, “Eh, this baby looks kind of crappy and sick and it doesn’t look like she’s breathing so go throw her out”.

The medical staff who overlooked this tiny fact that the baby is ALIVE are under investigation.

CNN Coverage of Luz Milagros in ICU

Personally, I think this is funny. Not that Luz Milagros almost got buried alive but that it’s like Jesus on Easter, coming back to life like a boss. I almost wish she was a boy and they’d name him Jesus and tell him he was named after another dude who rose from the dead. Except he was more epic because it only took him 12 hours to come back and the other dude took three days.

(They should leave the part out that “he” was mistaken for dead and was never really dead. Just to make the story cooler.)

Twitter Can Save Your Life

Get this: Apparently Twitter can save your life! Well, actually what can save your life is a girlfriend who Tweets instead of calling the police.

A couple of days ago, in Johannesburg, South Africa, a dude was carjacked and thrown into the trunk of his own car. Luckily, these carjackers weren’t the brightest people and forgot to take his phone. This poor dude was just chilling in his trunk and instead of calling the cops, he decides to text his girlfriend to tell her, “Hey babe, how’s your day? I’m just here, you know, getting carjacked and stuff.” (heavily and inaccurately paraphrased by the way. If you want the more official story look here and if you want one with the Tweets, look here. If you want porn, look he—somewhere else).

Because his girl evidently loved him so much, she decided to NOT call the cops and report this but instead Tweet about it–because we all know that’s what you do in the event of a serious crime that could potentially lead to very ugly situations and very dead boyfriends.

This poor dude got even luckier when a Twitter-user by the name of @PigSpotter (very popular apparently because he helps people spot speed traps and road blocks), picked up this commotion and managed to mobilize everyone and they retrieved the poor dude. They lived happily ever after.

And no one thought of calling the cops. Because, you know, Twitter’s more reliable.